We fogged the shit out of my mom's basement
to bring you the very first vape-themed Christmas album.
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On the first big rip
That I ever did hit
In my friend Brandon's backyard
While showing me tricks
I said damn, what is this?
It's some real funky shit
Fuckin dude this tastes better than smoking those cigs
So he gave me his mod
And an old battery
With some premium Bombies that shipped in last week
And I never smoked again
Threw away all my sticks
I'm ascended to heaven
Where angels do rip
Chucking clouds, I am free
For vape eternity
This Vapemas give thanks to the Ecig Glory
(hide lyrics)
We Wish You A Cloudy Christmas
We wish you a Cloudy Christmas
We wish you a Cloudy Christmas
We wish you a Cloudy Christmas
And a dope ass new mod!
Your vape trails are weak
So add more VG
Your store is a dude fest
Your house juice, it reeks!
We wish you a Cloudy Christmas
We wish you a Cloudy Christmas
We wish you a Cloudy Christmas
And a dope ass new mod!
Bananas and Cream
Cherry and Lime
Your mixing needs practice
Just give it more time!
We wish you a Cloudy Christmas
We wish you a Cloudy Christmas
We wish you a Cloudy Christmas
And a dope ass new mod!
We wish you a Cloudy Christmas
We wish you a Cloudy Christmas
We wish you a Cloudy Christmas
And a dope ass new mod!
(hide lyrics)
Do you have organic cotton?
Na na na na na, na na na na
Is this mech mod an authentic?
Na na na na na, na na na na
Last time I was here you had it
Stop helping sinners buy pre-made coils!
Man, I need to use your dremel
I swear it will only take a sec
This is not the strength I asked for
Do you want me to smoke cigarettes?!
This is why I only shop online!
(hide lyrics)
I Saw Three Rips On The Subreddit
My batteries blew up today,
Blew up today,
Onto my face
My batteries blew up today,
The news had given me warning
I rushed unto the subreddit,
The E-cigarette subreddit
I rushed unto the subreddit,
To get some fucking karma
They shut me up like hella quick,
They said that I'm a noob at it
They shut me up like hella quick,
And buy from rec'mended sources
The admin fucker locks my thread,
I wish that he had stickied it
The admin fucker locked my thread,
And now I'm banned forever
ButtholeMan64, why did you say those fucking things
My thread was dope, I have no teeth!
My mod was good, I researched it
I just got out the hospital, and vaping is impossible
But what does that fuckin doctor know,
Vape forever
(hide lyrics)
On the first day of Wickmas my vape store ordered me
Strawberry shortcake ice cream!
On the second day of Wickmas my vape store ordered me
Two drip tips
And a strawberry shortcake ice cream!
On the third day of Wickmas my vape store ordered me
Three pre-built coils
Two drip tips
And a strawberry shortcake ice cream!
On the fourth day of Wickmas my vape store ordered me
Four fasttech mods
Three pre-built coils
Two drip tips
And a strawberry shortcake ice cream!
On the fifth day of Wickmas my vape store ordered me
Five throaty rips
Four fasttech mods
Three pre-built coils
Two drip tips
And a strawberry shortcake ice cream!
On the sixth day of Wickmas my vape store ordered me
Six dads-a-vaping
Five throaty rips
Four fasttech mods
Three pre-built coils
Two drip tips
And a strawberry shortcake ice cream!
On the seventh day of Wickmas my vape store ordered me
Seven competitions
Six dads-a-vaping
Five throaty rips
Four fasttech mods
Three pre-built coils
Two drip tips
And a strawberry shortcake ice cream!
On the eighth day of Wickmas my vape store ordered me
Eight leakin' atties
Seven competitions
Six dads-a-vaping
Five throaty rips
Four fasttech mods
Three pre-built coils
Two drip tips
And a strawberry shortcake ice cream!
On the ninth day of Wickmas my vape store ordered me
Nine ohm resistance
Eight leakin' atties
Seven competitions
Six dads-a-vaping
Five throaty rips
Four fasttech mods
Three pre-built coils
Two drip tips
And a strawberry shortcake ice cream!
On the tenth day of Wickmas my vape store ordered me
Ten hits in public
Nine ohm resistance
Eight leakin' atties
Seven competitions
Six dads-a-vaping
Five throaty rips
Four fasttech mods
Three pre-built coils
Two drip tips
And a strawberry shortcake ice cream!
On the eleventh day of Wickmas my vape store ordered me
Eleven wicks-a-burnin'
Ten hits in public
Nine ohm resistance
Eight leakin' atties
Seven competitions
Six dads-a-vaping
Five throaty rips
Four fasttech mods
Three pre-built coils
Two drip tips
And a strawberry shortcake ice cream
On the twelfth day of Wickmas my vape store ordered me
Twelve popcorn lungs
Eleven wicks-a-burnin'
Ten hits in public
Nine ohm resistance
Eight leakin' atties
Seven competitions
Six dads-a-vaping
Five throaty rips
Four fasttech mods
Three pre-built coils
Two drip tips
And a strawberry shortcake ice cream!
(hide lyrics)
Silent mod, Holy mod
Clapton coil, steeping oil
You have friends but I have my mods
Can't see anything through these clouds
Please unregulate me
Please unregulate me
Silent mod, sickest mod
Copper, brass and stainless mods
Wattage mode is for posers and kids
Temperate vapin and widest bore tips
That patina is godly
Fam it's just one of my mods
(hide lyrics)
Hark! The House Juice Is In Season
Hark, the house juice is in season!
Glory to the Flat-Billed King
Only rip the finest plume
Made inside the cleanest room
I was once a vape pen guy
Now my build gets recognized
Tanks are filled and neckbeards cheer
Thick ass clouds up in the air
I'm the Vape God you should fear
I haven't shaved in seven years
(hide lyrics)
"Hey everybody.
On behalf of the Cloudy Boys,
we wanted to wish you a very Merry Vapemas,
and a dope ass New Year." - Cloudy Boys
Did I remember all my tricks
Did my dragon breath look sick
Do you think I have what it takes
To slay the competish
For all the vapers up in here
For replicas designed
We'll take a hit of pure VG
For all my squad in mind
If any peeps had soon forgot
All the vape tricks that we did
If I throw up after this hit
Please don't post it on reddit
For all the vapers up in here
For replicas designed
We'll take a hit of pure VG
For all my squad in mind
That nicotine was 24
And I think I'm gonna die
But I just won the biggest rip
I shall wear these tears with pride
For all the vapers up in here
For replicas designed
We'll take a hit of pure VG
For all my squad in mind
We'll take a hit of pure VG
For all my squad in mind
(hide lyrics)
Don't let my cloud hit you on your way out... :)
This album is intended as parody. All events and peoples mentioned in this album are fictional. Yes, we do vape.